Lies

Posted by Steve on January 16, 2004: New comic here. I thought this whole arc was finished, but Bob and Amanda insisted it needed one more comic, so if you guys don't like it, it's their fault.

Bob and I have a thing with these news posts. I try to give you guys something, be it a story, some funny links, whatever. I figure that way if you don't like the comic for that week, you at least got something out of your visit here, you know? I usually try to talk about the current comic for that week, but sometimes there's just not much to say about it, and so I have to go waaaay off topic. This is one of those times.

So, my day off was Tuesday. I had some laundry to do, and gift cards for Wal-Mart and Best Buy I wanted to use up. Now, you have to understand that I get quite enough of the general public when I'm at work, so the last thing I want to do on my day off is voluntarily go to places where I know there's going to be people. So on the rare occasions where I'm forced to go out, I plan the entire exercise with the precision of a team of Navy SEALs: get in, get out, leave no trace. So the plan here was to bring the laundry downstairs on my way out, throw it in the machines, head to Wal-Mart and pick up an Xbox controller (I know what you're thinking and no, I didn't break this one. It died of natural causes.) then head over to Best Buy and pick up Tony Hawk Underground, then head back home, throw the clothes from the washers to the dryers and bickety bam, I'm home free.

In hindsight, I should have just stayed in bed.

Problem number one occours when, of course, someone else is using the machines. No problem, there's a laundromat right down the street. I'll have to alter the plans slightly, but it'll still be okay.

So I head down to the laundromat, throw the clothes and soap in, close the lid, throw in some change, and start up the machines. That's when problem number 2 shows up. Only one of the machines starts up. The other one is apparently out of order, and guess who's apparently the first person to find this out? Yeah, that's right, me. To make matters worse, since I didn't have any more laundry soap with me, (Charlie Smart here decided he'd just put the soap in a small container, so as to not have to lug the bottle around.) I now had to go back home, get some more soap, come back, and try another machine. Plus now the one machine was going to finish about ten minutes before the other, which is going to cause even more delays.

Fine. I go back home, grab the bottle of soap, and head back to the laundromat. All goes well this time, besides now having the ten minute time delay of course, and I'm off to Wal-Mart.

Something about Wal-Mart makes people lose all common sense. People coming out of the store just waltz out into traffic without even a glance, people in cars lose the ability to drive, etc. So of course it's no surprise that I'm stuck behind a guy that, despite the fact there's open parking spaces all over the place, feels the need to sit and wait for the one spot in particular, and doesn't feel the need to pull over and let the rest of us park and get on with our lives. So I wait, and wait, and wait, and finally the car pulls out and leaves. What does our hero do next? He inexcplicably drives right past the spot and goes down another row, of course. Whatever. I pull into a spot, get about halfway to the door, when problem number 3 presents itself. That Wal-Mart gift card, the one this whole trip was based on? That's right, it's sitting at home on my dresser.

I get back in the car again, drive home again, and since by this time the laundry is due to finish up in about 10 minutes anyway, I decide to wait at the house and regroup. I do the clothes switch at the laundromat and head for Wal-Mart, again.

A quick side note here, aimed particularly at any of our readers that might happen to work at a Wal-Mart. Now, I like to think that since we're both in retail, we're pretty much on the same side here, and I don't want to pick on you, honest, but why is it that every store I go to, no matter the time of day, week, month, year, whatever, it always looks like a goddamn bomb just hit it? I mean, I've never been in a Wal-Mart that wasn't fucking trashed, and I don't think I could handle the shock if I ever saw one.

So anyway, I go in and immediately head to the video games, grab my controller, and wait for the gentleman at the register, who looks like he just wants to fucking die already. He rings me up, and I head off to Best Buy, which, thankfully, went without incident. So, finished at last, I head to the laundromat to pick up my clothes.

Only to find out that one of the loads is still soaking wet.

(By the way, Tony Hawk Underground blows. It says Neversoft, but I think it must have been secretly developed by Rare, because all you do is skate around and collect shit. It's terrible. Anyway, see you next week.)

Posted by Bob on January 16, 2004: Hey guys. Like I said last week, I am trying something new in coloring the comic. I went a bit more drastic with it this week than last, and will probably do so again next week. I hope you like it, cause I know I do. It gives me a chance to use my Wacom for more than I used to in coloring it the old way.

Couple of really quick new drawings for you today too. Here's a Batman I did in the tool of the gods, the almighty Sharpie marker. And better than that, here's a Catwoman I did at work. Check em out, ya hear?

Holy crap! Look at this video. Man oh man...I suppose I can see why the military has used video games as training exercises, cause it looks just like a game on a black and white tv.

Hostess and DC present....CREATE YOUR OWN SUPER-HERO! This thing is a hoot, I'm totally digging it. I present to you: Snooky Wooky, the Greatest Hero in the World!

I found this and thought it was really neat. Check it out. It's the world's largest virtual apartment.

I dunno if this is TOTALLY legitimate, but I think it's interesting nonetheless. Apparently, the government wanted to see the effects of Acid on art, and this was the result. I like how the longer the acid is in his system, the better the art gets. Pretty neat stuff.

All right, that's seven paragraphs and seven links from me, so that's damn good enough. Back in a week.

Posted by Steve on January 16, 2004: I almost forgot. If web sites with link banners is the kind of thing that gets you hot, then you'll be happy to know that there's a new one posted on the bottom of the links page. (or just click here.)