Incoming!

Posted by Steve on January 9, 2004: As you can see, I've got what some people would consider to be a bad temper when it comes to video games. The phrase "The goddamn computer is cheating!" has been yelled by me many, many times.

Picture if you will, I'm sitting there on a Saturday playing NHL2K for Dreamcast. I've played about a zillion different hockey games, and after awhile they're pretty much all the same. So, four games later, I've scored a total of zero goals. And not only that, the cpu goalie has given up zero rebounds. None. In four games. So, next thing you know, not only have I bent the cd into a thousand pieces, I also smashed the jewel case for good measure. (although in my defense, this was an outdated version of the game anyway.)

Now let's fast forward a few months. I'm sitting there playing Tony Hawk 2 for Playstation. (note that I'm playing the Playstation version because I already destroyed my Xbox version a week or so earlier.) I'm on the second level (the school) and I'm trying to do that pain in the ass goal near the start of the level where you have to like, wallride up the wall, then jump on a ledge, then hit a bunch of roof gaps to get...I think it's the secret tape. Anyway, for whatever reason i just can't get the damn thing. So after a bunch of attempts, I just go into "hulk smash!" mode or something. I take the game out, put it back in the jewel case, then proceed to snap the case in half with the cd inside it. Note that I don't even like Tony Hawk 2, yet I have (or had) it for two different systems, because apparently I'm just a glutton for abuse or something.

So that's about it. I've had tons of thrown/broken controllers over the years, and some other abused games. When I was a kid, I threw a copy of Tecmo Super Bowl for Super Nintendo against the wall so hard that it broke into 2 pieces. (remember when every once in awhile the cpu would just decide you were going to lose and that's all there is to it? Right.) Although for that one, the game played fine once I taped the two halves back together, so that doesn't really count. And me and my friend used to get so pissed playing FIFA Soccer for Super Nintendo that we used to pad the floor with pillows, because we knew controllers were going to be thrown.

In my defense though, this is pretty much genetic in my family. My dad broke his hand once when he got pissed and punched a wall, and he's been known to break a remote control or two after a Cub victory. (For those that don't understand, most White Sox fans hate the Cubs, and it goes double for my dad. He hates them, their fans, Wrigley Field, and anyone that puts on the uniform. I think if they would have made it to the World Series last year, it just might have killed him.)

The deal mentioned in the comic is for real though, by the way. Tom Clancy games (Splinter Cell, for example) I don't even bother with anymore. Those games are always far beyond my patience. For example, Rainbow 6 for Nintendo 64. Level one, the second difficulty setting. (Veteran, maybe? Whatever.) Here's how the first level works. Start at the starting point, (imagine that) walk down the pathway, get shot and die. So I just know Splinter Cell is going to be too much for me. I should just break it now and save myself the aggravation. See you next week.

Posted by Bob on January 9, 2004: Hey gang. I colored the comic a little differently this week than I usually do, but sadly I don't think it's that noticeable. Maybe I will have to get even more drastic next week, I dunno.

Well, I felt bad about not drawing the last two sketch of the week winners, so I did a really really quick Human Torch. When I say quick, I really mean it. I wouldn't click that expecting a masterpiece, if I were you...

This is too funny. It also is probably one of the reasons Wisconsin may get a bad reputation soon. You have to read the article, it's too funny.

It seems the depths people will sink to to get in touch with someone famous just got a little deeper. This is just ridiculous. I can see wanting to get an autograph maybe, but wouldn't you think a doctor-a man who is college educated-would see that the timing there might not be the best? Jesus I never want to be a "celebrity."

Speaking of which, I have decided that I can not stand any sort of televised news anymore. I swear every time I switched to it, or saw it, there was some sort of story about Britney god damned Spears' marraige. One channel had an exculsive interview with the girl who the guy dumped to get married to Spears. For god's sake, this stuff makes me sick. Wouldn't you think there would be something important to cover? Apparently not.

Well, I wasn't really going anywhere with that...So I think I'll just stop now, as I've run out of steam.