Skeletons from the Closet

Posted by Bob on September 2, 2005: Hey all. New comic is up, as you would expect. I mean really, we've been dancing this dance for three and a half years now, have we let you down yet? Anyhow, about the comic. Steve said Jessie looks better with short hair. She still has the short-ish, shoulder length hair, but I just had to exaggerate it a bit in panel five to make it obvious as to what she's doing. I hope it makes sense... Oh, and in the sixteenth panel, that's a cardboard cutout. It's not like, some crazy dude hired to stay in the closet until danger rears it's head or anything. Unless Steve reads my post and thinks he can make a comic out of it, in which case, it's whatever I said just now. (Ugh. That would have been ten times funnier than a cardboard cutout. Where the fuck were you when I was writing this shit? -Steve)

You know, now that I know how to screenprint my own shirts, I think someday I may make a Retail Avenger shirt-the blue one with the R. Could be fun.

Let's start today's link parade with a it's not really funny but I can't help but laughing story. I know I shouldn't laugh, but I'm a cold, evil bastard, so it's ok.

So, here's something stupid. I mean really, isn't this like day one stuff? One of the main rules? Rule one: Don't put sharp objects near your junk. Rule two: DON'T FUCKING SET YOURSELF ON FIRE. There's no reason for this. "Oooh, I'm gonna get famous by BURNING THE SKIN OFF MY BODY." Get this: We don't fucking care. We all just think you're an ass. Unless you can shoot fire out of your hands or eyes or something, stay away from all of the rest of us, thanks.

How about a reason not to work in a prison? Well, you should have already had about nine billion, but here's another anyhow. That inmate really worked the guard over. I wonder how messed up he was after all this?

Okay, so penguins are cute and all, but this seems a bit extreme, no? If only it was in English. I could use google or babelfish to translate it, but those things tend to be relatively useless most of the time anyway. Example? I'm gonna translate this paragraph a bit and see what happens.

Yeah, this is what I got: The penguins of approval therefore are pleasant and all, but this seems point of great measure, not? If it only were on English. I could use google or the babelfish, for tradurlo, but I fold those things, to the greater part the relatively useless moment of being in some way. Example? Then I translate and I see this point to the German of new to English, that it happens. See what I'm saying?

I don't know if this will appeal to anyone besides Amanda, but I'll post it anyhow. How fast can you type? It's kinda hard, cause I can't type that gibberish. The words part I do better on. Though, it's obvious some people just cheat, cause there's plenty of people who, when asked to type the entire alphabet, did it in 000.000 seconds. Bastards! That's just not possible!

Eh, how about another fight? I'm a little hesitant to post this one, cause I know it'll give some of you sickos out there wood. But it's a good fight video, cause it's women. Men fight to impress. Women fight to the death. These two are nuts, and they can just take a pounding.

And that's all I've got. Back in a week, folks.

Posted by Steve on September 02, 2005: I can't say I have tons to say this week, but I'd feel too guilty if I went two weeks in a row without a post. Especially when Bob writes a damn novel every week. I think he does it just to make me look bad.

So, I generally try to steer away from any type of serious current events on these posts. I used to soap box every now and then, but the more I think about it, I figure you guys are here to (hopefully) have a laugh at the comic, read Bob's assortment of links and my sad attempts at a newspost, and move on. There's plenty of other places you can read editorials. There's things I'd like to say about what's gone on in the wake of the hurricane, specifically about the media's embarrassing coverage of it. But, this whole thing will get editorialized to no end in the coming days/weeks/months. There's really no need for me to jump on the pile. So how about we all agree to make a donation (even a small one) to the Red Cross (that's the link Google provides, as the main Red Cross site appears to be wanged at the moment.) and meet back here next week. Cool?