 Posted by Bob on June 30, 2005: Hello gang. It's Wednesday, and for the first time ever in the history of man, there is a new comic here. Can you believe it? After all these years, Bob is facing repurcussions for his actions. Will this change him? Will he become a better person? Only time will tell. Though, somehow, I don't see us taking the main character of the comic and putting him in jail for a while. Although, it could lead to some interesting stories... What do you think? Think Tank meets Oz? I hope not. There's even less to draw in a prison cell than there is in a music store.
Onto the links. I found this, and I just don't know what to say. Is this person for real? It all seems to crazy to be real, but as you'll soon see by the other links I post today, "too crazy to be true" has long since gone out the window. I hope this isn't a real story, and it's just some prick like me making up crap on that site, cause I really feel bad for that guy. That site is...interesting. There's some goofy things there to read.
And here we have crazy story number two. What really gets me is that it took sixteen years to discover this. Sixteen years. I think it means one of two things. Either A: The medical system in Bangladesh is godawful atrocious, or B: This kid is in fantastic health, as he never had a stomach ache for SIXTEEN YEARS even though he had a HUMAN BODY in his belly. Maybe not having it in him will be like his kryptonite. They'll remove it, and all of a sudden he'll get sick all the time...Having his little baby brother digesting within him for all time is the only thing that keeps him healthy.
Either that, or I've finally gone out of my mind after all these years of just teetering on the brink. I suppose any of these options is a possibility.
Well people, we are one step closer to Resident Evil becoming true. We just need some zombies and a master of unlocking and we'll be all set. (Barry. WHERE'S Barry?)
All right, Mario theme music? Check. Goofy Japanese people? Check. A keytaur? Check. Hot asian girls in bikinis, crazy looking moustaches, lyrics, and a weird set? Check, check, check and umm...more check. (More check? Who the fuck is writing this?) (That's right, I am. See paragraph four for all your answers.) Worst of all, now I'm gonna have that song in my head all week. "JibberjabberjibberjabberjibberjabberB-DASH-U!"
So, is this like the Muslim version of preachers who lay their hands on a crippled man's head and make him walk? Either that, or the dude really is just mentally retarded, as um, Mr. Sunglasses tells us. One thing's for sure. That lady is wearing one funky shirt.
Oh, how about another crazy news story? (Dirty joke upcoming.) I have to imagine that walking in on your mom being eaten by your dad is bad enough, but to walk in on your MOM BEING EATEN BY YOUR DAD?!?! Jesus christ, those girls are gonna be fucked up forever and ever. It's a terrible story, made terribly funny by the fact that he choked to death ON her. That totally redeems it.
I finished the Batman Begins game today. My verdict? Not bad. Not GREAT, but not bad. I don't think there's much replay value in it, sadly. The best parts were the Batmobile levels, which there were only two of. Not surprisingly, these were developed by Criterion, which you may recall brought you the fucking fantastic Burnout games. Anyway, I still think Batman the Animated Series (SNES,) Batman Vengeance and Batman: Rise of Sin Tzu (Or was it Sun Tzu? I can't remember.) are the best Batman games around though. If you haven't played Batman the Animated Series, I highly recommend you do so. It's easily the best Batman game I've ever played.
Also, I picked up Fantastic Four, Destroy All Humans and Splinter Cell 3. (Can't remember if it's Chaos Theory or Pandora Tomorrow.) Some quick reviews. Fantastic Four: Similar to X-Men Legends, so that's good. Out of the four, I actually have had the most fun playing as Mr. Fantastic, (Who has never been referred to as that in the game, it's all been "Reed",) which is strange, because I never cared much for him in the comics, but I've slowly changed my tune as of late. Destroy All Humans: Fun. Really fun. Pretty damn funny so far too. Splinter Cell: I died on the first mission. Killed by one dude. Just a random dude with a pistol. I was playing for like, 30-40 minutes. I got killed, and started at the beginning of the god damn game. So I quit that. Just about sums up my experience with all the Tom Clancy games, really. Ah well.
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