Ghost in the Machine

Posted by Bob on December 10, 2004: Hey all. Today's comic, part five of my arc, is up, as you would expect. It's not an accident that the new Ticketlord machine looks like an iPod. I've got two, and I gotta say, it's one of the greatest little devices I've ever had. So, when I redesigned the machine, I figured "Why not make it look like an iPod?" And since I'm the artist, I did. And that's that. There's a couple panels in this week's comic where the lineart is kinda screwy, and that's cause I used a much thinner pen than I usually do, and when I scanned it, it didn't quite pick it up as well as it would have normally. Live and learn, that's for sure. A .005 width pen is no good for Think Tank Comics!

Ok, let's start with the creepy link of the week. They say it is to "ead to hybrid computers with organic components, allowing more flexible and varied means of solving problems." I say it's to create robots that will enslave mankind. This can't be good at all!

You know, I hear this game is supposed to be pretty good. I think maybe it was kind of popular or something, I don't know for sure. That's just what I heard.

...You absolutely must realize I'm joking, right? I have played Donkey Kong before, god.

Throw up the metal fingers and turn "Fucking Hostile" on real loud, cause Dimebag Darrell is dead. I'll admit, I wasn't a big Pantera fan when I first heard 'em, but they definately grew on me. This is bad news for good rock fans.

Have I ever linked to this? I dunno, but it's kind of neat.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the hottest band in the land: KISS! Well, Half-Kiss. Maybe they should be called Peck? Or hug? That usually leads to Kiss. Although, if I was in a midget tribute band to Kiss, I don't think I'd want to be called Hug. I mean hell, they probably can't get their arms around someone for a real hug. I guess I'll stick with Mini-Kiss.

Oh, here's the first trailer of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Pretty crazy looking. But let me warn you, the theme song is quite addictive. I watched the trailer like, 20 minutes ago, and I can't stop singing it. Anyway, I don't know why Depp looks so...cadaverous as he does, but I'm sure I'll still see it. Although, admittedly, Willy Wonka was a movie I never thought needed to be remade. And considering Burton's "Reimagining" of Planet of the Apes kind of..umm...For sucks, as they say in the Czech Republic, I don't know what to expect. On the other hand, Burton and Depp work really well together, so we shall see.

Since I finished Metal Gear Solid 3 and I'm not buying any more games before the end of the year, I figured I might as well play the ones I already have, since I've got like a million to go through. So, I threw in X-Men Legends. It's definately a fun game, and one of the better comic games I've played, but it's got some serious AI issues. Example? I'm in this one room with an open door, and right on the other side of that open door is an Acolyte. He is running at the door, stopping, running the other way, running back at the door, stopping, and running back. Just back and forth, back and forth. I'm Wolverine, and the CPU is controlling Gambit, Cyclops and Iceman. You'd think they'd go in there and fuck up the Dizzy acolyte, but no, they all rush the door at once, get stuck three stooges style, run back, turn and charge the door again, get stuck, run back...over and over. So I change to Cyclops, and watch as Gambit, Iceman and Wolverine play Moe, Larry and Curly, with Shemp on the other side of the door, still running back and forth. It just kept happening. So, I ended up just lining up with the open door and eye beaming the hell outta the Acolyte. It's not the only time I've had goofy stuff like that happen, but I thought this was the queerest AI issue I've run into.

And finally, I know either Captain Steve or I have linked to this before, but I just read it again and it's too fucked to NOT post again, so there you have it: The breakfast...OF DOOM! That's it for me. Come back next week to see the thrilling conclusion of my pulse pounding six part story!

Posted by Steve on December 10, 2004: Bob's arc continues. He'd probably be really happy if you checked it out.

I swear I've posted this story before, but Bob insists it's the first he's heard it. So here it is.

The other day Bob and I were talking about going to see Rollins the next time he's in town. I said I'd go as long as he drove to the show. When he questioned me as to why I wouldn't drive, I relayed to him what has come to be known as "The John Popper Incident".

A few years back (around '99, I think) I got a pretty sweet offer for some tickets to see John Popper, who had just put out a solo album. Free tickets, and a chance to go back and meet him after the show. (The Metro in Chicago, in case you wanted to know) Sweet. I talked to my buddy, who's always up for a free concert, got a nice easy way to get to the show from my dad,(side streets only, since I have zero navigational skills) and we were off.

We made it to the show with no trouble. Popper rocked, as expected. Even my buddy, a classic rock/metal head that was basically just there for a free show, got into it when they played When the Levee Breaks. Went back after the show, met the guy, got some stuff signed, cool. Time to go home.

Lost. Completely fucking lost. Hopelessly fucking lost.

I'm still not sure what the hell happened, but somehow we ended up in some housing development/twilight zone neigborhood where every house looked exactly the same, and there were no street signs. The shit just went on forever. I still don't know where the hell that place is. I don't think it exists on maps. I think it appears at random to trap would be travelers and drag them off to hell.

This went on for what seemed like forever. Somehow we managed to escape the clutches of the gate to hell and finally made it to a gas station. Civilization! We grab a map, ask the guy behind the counter where the fuck we were, and I decide to fill up (Which proved to be a wise decision. More on that later.) My buddy checks the map, and it turns out we're a few minutes away from the expressway. We find it, hop on, and figure we'll be home in no time. Then suddenly, no warnings, no signs, no arrows, my lane becomes the exit lane. Just like that. Time to go away.

Now we're somewhere downtown.

Now, the smart thing to do would have been to stop, figure out how to get back on the expressway, and be on our way. But, being two white boys from the suburbs, we have no clue what kind of neighborhood we're in. It could have been upscale, it could have been the inner circle of hell. We had no clue.

So we do the really smart thing, we start fucking guessing. Literally guessing. As in "Want to try going left?" "Sure, why not."

Roughly 4 hours later (around 4 am) we're still guessing. I think I was going the wrong way up a one way at one point. Worst of all, now I know we're in a bad neighborhood. Why? well, besides the group of large men hanging out by a stoplight at 4 in the morning? Well, the abandoned buildings/crackhouses were a good clue.

I'm sure we're going to die at this point. I'm timing my speed so that I never stop at red lights. My friend informs me that if we should happen to blow out a tire, we're riding the fucking rim, cause there's no chance either one of us is getting out of the car. He also points out that, had we not filled up at the gas station, we'd be out of gas right about now.

Next thing I know, i see a sign for the town we're in. Still not a great neigborhood, but that's not the point. The point is that it's a town I know how to get to. Somehow, someway, we find our way back. We stopped at White Castle, ate, and went home. I was up for work 3 hours later.

That is why I believe in God. There's no other possible explanation why we weren't carjacked/mugged/killed/lost forever that night.

That's all for now. See you next week.