Wicked Lester

Posted by Bob on September 24, 2004: Today's comic deals with a specific problem I had. One day, outta the blue, this song got stuck in my head. I'm not even a big Kiss fan. Well, I'm kind of a closet Kiss fan. If other people are around, then I'm not a Kiss fan. But if I'm on my own, I'll sing that shit as loud as I can, even if I don't know the words. Especially if I don't know the words. I know Steve is not a fan, but over the years, I've sadly grown into one. Anyway, I wrote the comic the day I got that song stuck in my head, and sent it to Steve. He originally said "Hell no," cause my script ended with Bob actually shooting the guy. Why? Cause I'm a violent American dog, I guess. I eventually changed it to the version you see now, or will see soon. So the other day, Steve sends me the script, and I'm reading it going "Wow, this is really good. Steve made this much better than mine." So out of curiosity, I opened my version of the file to see what was changed. All the lines I saw and thought were really good were the ones I originally wrote; Steve changed one or two lines and added a couple here and there. So it turns out I'm a good writer as long as I don't remember what it was that I wrote.

We've all seen articles about how Americans are fat and lazy. Well, I've got some proof about them being fat. Jesus, who looked at an Oreo and said "I should fry that." Maybe it's good, maybe it's not. I think it looks kinda disgusting. I'll stick with Milk, thanks.

Beating your woman is wrong. But apparently, if it's your wife, it's okay to do it nightly. Jesus lady, buy a damn gun.

Okay. The internet has lots of things, including a parallel parking simulator. I can't do that in real life, so I figured why not try it online? Well, it took me three minutes and forty nine seconds, and in that time, I crashed well over a hundred times. When I was in high school, in driver's ed, we had a test where we had to do a bunch of different things. You had to get x number of them right, and when I went to parallel park, I hit the first cone, and said hell with it and drove off without doing that part of the test. I passed the test, but lost some points on that part. Ah well.

And here's your retard of the week award. Yeah he's dead. Don't look to me for pity. If you're dumb enough to overdose on a fucking webcam while other assholes cheer you on, you will get no pity from me.

Was that a little harsh? I can never tell.

So, I picked up Def Jam Fight for New York the other day. If anything, it proves how ignorant of rappers I am. There's sooooo many people in the game I've never heard of. There's a bunch I only know of due to the first game. All in all, I feel it's a better game than the first. The first was more or less a No Mercy clone, which I was ok with. The second is somewhere between No Mercy and Street Fighter. There are no pins, and I think only one level has a true wrestling ring. Most of the levels are more of a Fight Club type atmosphere, what with the fighters inside of a circle of onlookers. You can even use them as a weapon to deal more damage to the other guy. And you can use the environment too. AKI did a really good job on making this game feel familiar and yet giving it it's own distinctive feel. Worth the money, I'd say. Oh, and check out Burnout 3. There are far more capable people than I giving reviews for it, so I'll leave it in their hands, but trust me when I say that it's one of the best games of the year so far. And I don't just say that 'cause there's not much out this year that has been super good; I say it because the game is fucking phenomenal.

I picked up some other games recently too, and since I don't feel like giving huge reviews or anything right now, I'll lay it out quick. Star Wars: Battlefront- Not bad. Kinda flawed, but simple mindless fun. Fable- Seems ok so far. I only finished the training segments, cause I just wanted to play more Burnout. I finally tried Viewtiful Joe too. I got it for Christmas, I figured it was about time. Pretty fun too. I have a feeling it's gonna get really really hard towards the end of the game.

All right, that's enough outta me. Take it, Steve.

Posted by Steve on September 24, 2004: This week's comic was pretty much all Bob. I touched up a line here or there, but other than that, he wrote it. If you ever have trouble telling if a comic was written by Bob, you'll note that just about all of Bob's comics have some horrible act of violence in them. (Or, they did, and I changed it.) I like when Bob writes scripts, as it gives me even less to do. I'm comfortable with that.

So, I too picked up Psi-Ops. It's cool for the most part, except that occasionally you get this fun thing where you've got a couple guys shooting you in the ass while you slowly spin the camera around to face them. It's only happened a couple times, but then again, I'm only on the second level. Oh, and Midway's shitty site makes Firefox cry.

The more I play ESPN NFL, the more I like it. The random/scripted progression is a bummer, but the gameplay and presentation are solid. That is all. See you next week.